LAYLA LOVE DOLLIES
*** WARNING *** Severe wackiness and many scantily-clad female action figures follow...
(gf1 (greatfool1's "mini-me"): Very edited to enable PG13-ishness-ish - I hope. Please know that this is my post - not greatfool1's. I am tired of him getting credit for my hard work, plus he has disowned me as his "mini-me". )
gf1: OK, guys, wait until you hear this major brainstorm I am having! It was because of several peeps' great desire for Layla, and my wanting her too, that inspired me to mass produce these:
Blonde Layla blowup dollies! Check out my first shipment I received from the dolly factory today!
I am going to be so rich with this scheme! And guess what, the Imperial Legion just ordered 369 of them! And several monasteries have also put in some orders. But before I fulfill those orders, I am going to let a few of you ardent supporters of Layla to have your pick of the group!
Here is a close-up of some of my favorites.
Also, their speech is OPTIONAL. Anyway, I am very excited!!!
Oh yeah, another extremely important New Feature - you can pump them up as follows:
Extra Extra Good (heheh) to get the "Exnem" look; and Extra Good for the Growlf look; Real Good for the Biu look, etc.
Oh yeah, do not try to tattoo these dollies like I did - it will void the warranty.
greatfool1: Can anyone blame me for formally renouncing any and all association with gf1?
gf1: OMG Layla! You are back from the monastery!!!* Oh jeez! My dollies are still in her bedroom!!! *
Layla: Huh? What dollies?
gf1: Huh? Dollies? I said, uhhhhhh.... COLLIES! I am raising a new breed of dogs for the lassies!
Layla: Well, anything to keep you out of trouble, gf1, is OK with me. But you can't mass produce collies. You can breed them, but they are live creatures.
gf1: Oh, mine are actually blonde blowup collies.
Layla: Who in their right mind would buy that?
gf1: You would be surprised! There were some changes I made in the collie's look, right at the last moment, that made a huge difference!
Layla: You and IG Hector (aka, Iggy) sound like you must have been drinking real heavily to come up with such a stupid idea! Can I see one of them?
gf1: Uhhhhh.... IG Hector has them at his place! Do you want to go there right now?
Layla: Oh, it can wait. I think I will retire now. I hope you didn't mess up my bedroom while I was away.
gf1: Uhhhhhhhhh, WAIT! IG Hector wants to cut my head off because I didn't send him all of the collies he wanted!
Layla: That sounds rather extreme, and not at all like Iggy. Are you sure, gf1?
gf1: Yes!
Layla: Well, let me sleep on this threat. I have had a very long trip and need to go to my bedroom now.
gf1: Can we sleep together in MY room, please Layla? IG Hector is scaring me.
Layla: Good night, gf1!
gf1: WAIT! Don't go in there!!! I can explain, Layla! Stop! IG Hector loves you and wants you and I tried to help out by giving him a picture of you and then one thing led to the next... and
Layla - opens the door...
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU, gf1, EXPLAIN THIS TO ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now where did that little snake disappear to?
Layla: I will definitely help Iggy cut his head off now! But first...
gf1: Please stop Layla! We can make a fortune with these!
Layla: Damn, these are realistic! They even bleed!
Layla: Too late to save them, gf1! They are going through their final exhalations now! How dare you do this!!!! Where ARE you, you slimy, opportunistic, explotative little #*$%!!????
gf1: I am under this pile of babes - I want to die honorably and at least happily.
gf1: I am...starting to pass... beyond this mortal frame now.... goodbye forever, Layla! Btw, would you now get naked and please hold me, this being my dying wish?
Layla: How could you be dying, gf1, I never sliced you!
gf1: That blood was mine! I am also dying from a broken heart by you, and now my dreams of success have been cut to pieces! IG Hector and I were going into business together to bring everyone the joys of laying, I mean, loving Layla...
Layla: I find that very hard to believe - that Iggy would have anything to do with this scheme, gf1.
gf1: Go talk to him then - while I live my final moments here... his love for you inspired this.... I am passing now....
Layla: Come out from under those girls NOW!
gf1: No way, Layla - this is the first time I have had a group of beautiful dolls together and I am kind of enjoying all the blasts of leaking air that keep tickling various areas no one has ever touched before!
Layla: I am going to sleep downstairs. Hopefully this mess will be gone when I return in the morning!
gf1: I will try to clean up before my final gasps of love for you finally come to an end - at least in terms of this mortal, frail, vulnerable, bloody body-mind. Please bury me with all my dead dollies, Layla.Goodbye Layla..........I........love........
gf1 yelling: Come back, Layla! I am bleeding here - and I may be having an out-of-body experience! And can you bring me some band-aids? I think I can save a few of my dollies!
**********************
gf1: Now, on with my most serious story of love and betrayal...
Layla, still unable to locate gf1 amongst all the dead Layla love dollies, yells out:
I have spared one dolly for you, gf1. Come out now and she is yours!
gf1: Layla, you have destroyed the only good idea I have ever had in my life, and also have refused my charm innumerable times - I must pass away with my now very close new friends - these Layla Love dollies. The horrors we have witnessed here today by your hand, no longer are bearable to them, nor me. We are moving on now Layla....
Up right now gf1, and I spare this dolly!
gf1: Damn! I can't seem to find my body!!!!! It is around here somewhere...
Last chance, gf1!
gf1: My body is gone, Layla! It got consumed by all these latex lovelies in our bouts of mad passion - not to mention you slicing me!
Layla: That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. And for the record, the other stupidest things I have ever heard were also all said by you.
gf1: OK, I found something - it looks like some remnant of my former body still exists - my ass-troll body is still hanging in there with my dollies! Right on!
Layla: I think you may mean your astral-body, gf1.
gf1: That's what I just said! I think this is it... But I feel real floaty and not so horny anymore.
Layla: Come on or the girl gets it!
Here I come Layla!
Layla: Jeez, you are disembodied, gf1! Where is that ugly carcass of yours now?
gf1: I already told you - between bleeding to death, and getting burned up in my love for you, Layla, and my desire for multiple dollies - it didn't stand a chance!
Layla: So are you dead or what?
gf1: I don't see my privates!!!!
Layla: Well that has always been of extremely little significance in your case, gf1 - unless size really doesn't matter.
gf1: My dollies never complained.
Layla: So why would you ever produce these blowup dollies without asking my permission first?
gf1: IG Hector loves you so much, and I thought I did too - but I am so over you now, Layla, for what you have done to my new friends. At the time, I thought both IG and myself could have you, and one thing led to the next; and before I knew it, there were hundreds of orders for these dollies! I would have been so rich - and now look at me - I got nothing but a floating see-through ass-troll version of me...
gf1 continues: Heheh, it does have some advantages, like walking through walls! I visited you last night in your bedroom!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Layla: You %#@$!!!!! That better have been just ectoplasm you left behind on the carpet!
gf1 unfortunately continues... greatfool1 is such a dork - he just doesn't recognize fine art when he sees it. These dollies are my greatest creation ever, even if Layla hates me for creating them without her permission.
Here I am trying to get it on with the last remaining blowup dolly that is still blowed-up - all the rest were slashed by Layla in one of her she-should-get-professional-help-with-her-anger fits! Needless to say, Layla is no longer my friend.
Layla is still exasperated with gf1, but liking her new hair.
gf1: Layla, come give me a big kiss to bring my physical body back!
Layla: No way - it is too ugly for this realm! Plus, as usual, you are getting your stories mixed up.
gf1: Alright then, I will be coming through your bedroom walls again tonight!
Layla: Fortunately your stupid story with all those replicated dollies destroyed this whole realm - and greatfool1 says we will have to start out fresh. I hope I can keep this hair!
gf1: What about me?
Layla: You can stay here with all your dollies, I am out of here until greatfool1 fixes this realm at some point! Bye!!!
gf1: Now where is that air pump and duct tape?
(Layla is based on a Jerros downloadable character; Cosmetic Compilation; Eshmes V3; Ren's Hair. She is wearing an outfit from madmole's "Romancing of Eyja" mod.)