Layla's Holiday Story

Layla: I have been a very good girl this year. Even Santa thinks so! I am also one of his helpers!

Santa asked me to gather up some deer for his sled!    [DialUp #1]

Still trying to bribe the deer to come along.    [DialUp #2]

Up all night... and am finally getting some cooperation! I had no problem with the male deer following orders. These females are another matter though!    [DialUp #3]

One deer whispering to other deer: Does that tart really think we are going to line up for her when she wears THAT kind of outfit? I can't wait to see Santa deal with her ass!    [DialUp #4]

Layla prays for all creatures and that Santa will get here soon!    [DialUp#5]

Finally Santa is coming! OMG! He is waaayyy off course!    [DialUp #6]

A loud crash in the far distance... But finally:

Alright Santa! You survived that landing! That was way bad driving!    [DialUp #7]

WTF???!!! Santa??????!!!!!!    [DialUp #8]

After seeing that Santa is actually Lucien, Layla faints. Lucien revives her and also changes into something more familiar to her - so she will believe in him.

Layla: WTF Lucien! You nearly gave me a heart-attack! Lucien: Well I hooked up with Santa in an IC bar, called The Feed Bag. Btw, they seemed to talk a lot about you there. What is that all about? Oh, nevermind... Santa sure can knock 'em back! Anyway, I borrowed his sleigh because I wanted to see you so badly and also to prove that I am with you now. Santa is so drunk I also am taking over his final deliveries! And I hope you will be Santa's little helper! Don't worry - I swear that Santa is still safely drinking with the boys...

Lucien continues: But as I was flying out of the Imperial City...

I saw my soon-to-be-ex-wife Emilie! You didn't have anything to do with this, did you Layla?    [DialUp #9]

Lucien: Anyway, I decided to help Emilie - I know you would have wanted me to. So I lassoed her and pulled her out - but the friggin' deer pulled so hard, they stretched her back to almost normal size! And get this! As soon as she was free, she blasted me and the sleigh - and killed off four of Santa's best reindeer!

I think Emilie saw me in the Santa suit and immediately fired! She didn't even know it was me - at least I hope she didn't! On the Dark Side we all hate Santa and what he stands for! I trained everyone to kill Santa on site! My bad... I guess I deserved getting blasted for that - but by Emilie?

Lucien continues: I am very glad you got Santa's message, Layla, about his scheduled pit stop. Layla: A message from Santa? My samurai master told me to help Santa. I didn't really know why. Now I get it! And now I understand why you crashed into those trees with Santa's sleigh! Drinking and then being shot at! You should NOT be driving under either of those conditions, much less, both!

Lucien: I guess we got a lot of catching up to do, huh? But I know you will agree that we now need to repair Santa's sleigh and find some more top-notch reindeer. Right? Then off to the Imperial City, so we can all do some more rounds. So where are all the reindeer? Layla: Uhhh, reindeer? I just got some deer, and they will not stay in line! Plus they gossip constantly!

Lucien: You mean you are trying to get females to cooperate with you? And while wearing that sexy outfit? HO HO HO! HA HA HA! Layla: Oh... I was supposed to only get males? That explains it. Well, there are a few males around here too. They were much better behaved - though they kept trying to lick me.

Lucien: What?! Which ones did that? Oh, later on that too. Let me round up a bunch of males. Santa taught me a few tricks right before his 14th round... of deliveries, that is.

And so Lucien commands all the males who want to help - to line up NOW! He and Layla begin checking out the volunteers.    [DialUp #10]

They work late into the night. Of course, Layla freely offers her advice.    [DialUp #11]

At one point, Lucien forgets he is supposed to be kindly - like Santa - and also starts to get hungry. Hmmm, this one is out of line! He will do just fine!    [DialUp #12]

Layla: Stop Lucien! Eat that female over there. The one that whispers gossip all the time! Wait, Lucien, I was just kidding! Oh jeez, that is gross! At least cook it! Wow! You must be really hungry! Do not EVEN try to kiss me now!

gf1; OK. Cut! No, not with the knife Lucien! Lucien: Who the hell is that joker, Layla? Layla: Oh him. That's gf1... He is greatfool1's "mini-me" mouthpiece. Lucien: Should I off him? Layla: Hmmmm... let's see.... No... Lucien, please put that knife away!

gf1: Layla, the commercial break... remember? Lucien: WTF? I'm going to get this guy NOW! Layla: How do these borders get crossed like this anyway? What are you doing in here, gf1?

gf1: It is time for the commercial! So quiet down! Here goes: Ho Ho Ho! Come on down! We have the finest bucks in town!    [DialUp #13]

gf1: Did you like my little jingle? Should I say it again? It rhymes! That wasn't so bad now, was it? Lucien: Let me do him right now, Layla! Layla glaring intensely at gf1: Can we finish here now? I will deal with you later, gf1!

Lucien: Ok, we have to find a replacement for Rudolph, you know, the red-nosed reindeer. Hey, that is kind of catchy, don't ya think? Too bad Emilie saw that bright red nose and used it as her main target! Rudolph was splattered all over the IC! Is that what the "rain" part of their name means?

Layla: Oh dear, rain... Poor little reindeer...Well let's at least try to replace him honorably...

Hey look Lucien! I swear this deer's nose just flashed red!    [DialUp #14]

Lucien: This one? Layla: No, further back!    [DialUp #15]

So Lucien, what is with all those colored Blades of Woe in Santa's bag?    [DialUp #16]

Lucien: Well, it really is all I have to give everyone this year. Left-over inventory... You don't like them? It took quite a lot of spells to get them colorful like this.

Layla: I think they need a different name. How about Blades of Whoa! You know, to hold up and stop someone - not to cause them woe. Especially at this time of the year, Lucien. For me? :wub: Lucien: Well, I guess their color will make people stop and go "WHOA! That is one crazy looking blade, mother... uhhh, dude!" And I am going to put the Blades of Whoa Star on top of that new Christmas Tree (mod), the Grim Reaper named Crypto created too. Damn! This is one very weird Holiday Season this year! Death makes a Christmas Tree???!!! And also, normally my Dark Brothers and I would be out to do Santa in - not help him!

Layla: Great idea on the Blades of Whoa Star, Lucien! You and the Grim Reaper have always been close - you have really helped his business in the past. So, you had better get going - Santa's probably sobered up by now. And it is very close to the big day! Lucien: Yeah, you're right. Layla: So where is Rudolph? Lucien: Oh, Rudolph asked if it was OK to have one for the road. I told him to have as MANY as he could fit in! Layla: So it's TRUE! Rudolph drinks and THAT'S why his nose is so red! I always suspected that! He should NOT be drinking and flying! :nono:

Lucien; No, Layla. Rudolph isn't drinking! He's over there!

Jeez Lucien!!! I see Rudolph takes after you!     [DialUp #17]

Lucien: Whatever do you mean, Layla? Layla: Males! I suppose you want one for the road too, eh? Lucien: I thought you would never ask!

So Santa-Lucien heads out in his repaired sleigh and four more reindeer, including a very glowing and red-nosed Rudolph, to help spread joy throughout Cyrodiil!

Layla speaking to all the female deer - i.e., the done does: There they go, girls! Our loves - Lucien and Rudolph!    [DialUp #18]

The End.

Please do not even doubt this story for a moment. As always, the screenies prove the truth of it!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!! from greatfool1, gf1, Layla, and Kara. (OK, and from Lucien and Rudolph too. Horny devils!)